New Medical Condition: New News, Old Story

Friday I was spending a glorious day with my Devon.  He's such a great man.  He enjoys life and he enjoys enjoying life with me (like how I put that?).  I've never seen him so happy just to have me so close.  Even though I spent most of Thursday and Friday cleaning, you know, it doesn't bother me.  I'm cleaning out the oven while he mows the lawn.  Its like I would picture it if I could you know.

But the bliss was quickly disrupted by me and my "brokenness" (for lack of a better term).  In the midst of the giggles and smiles, I fall to the ground in complete agony.  Almost out of nowhere.  I fall to the ground screaming and poor Devon, he looked so scared.  Like a horrible nightmare you know.  He picks me up and puts me on the couch, on the side I'm not grabbing, "What do I do?  What do you want me to do?"  I can't respond, throwing my face into the couch cushions, still screaming in agony.  I'm surprised he was able to keep his cool.  I probably would have called the fire department or something.  For him to feel so helpless with me in such a state, I can't imagine how that felt for him.

I would say 30 minutes passed.  Although the pain had not subsided completely, I was able to get words out.  I asked him to get my phone and my wallet.  The phone had the number to my OBGYN in Charlotte, the wallet had my medical card.  As he looked for medical providers in the area, I called my Doctor who has completely turned my medical condition around in a year and a half.  I didn't know what else to do.  The nurse for my doctor greets me as if I was calling any other day, but when she heard the pain in my voice, I kind of heard panic in her voice.  Yeah, because that is what I need to hear in this traumatic moment you know.  "Jazz, are you in Texas with your boyfriend?"  Yes, I can't get to you but I don't know what to do.  Well because there was no blood, the concern was not immediate but it was enough for her to say to see a doctor ASAP.

Over the next 3 days the pain subsided but the soreness was still there.  I never slept on my left side to begin with but bending over and getting up seemed to be such a difficult thing to do.  So I go to this new doctor I find in the listing for my medical plan.  I drive up and it says OBGYN and Fertility Office.  What? I don't want to go to a Fertility Office, I want to run from it!  But I guess it was a blessing in disguise that this doctor was a fertility expert, otherwise the issue may never have been found.

After discussing my medical history and what happened on Friday, he had several theories of what it could be, but wanted to get an ultrasound to be sure.  So the diagnosis:

1. My original concern was that my Mirena (IUD) had pierced my uterian wall.  Well, the Mirena is where is should be and is not disrupting anything.  What a relief that is.  I started my periods so early and for as long as I can remember, they've been hell.  I could go 3 months without a period and when it came on, boy was it painful.  To add to it, my anemia and iron deficiency didn't help the situation. So needless to say, I was happy when I got the Mirena.  I really feel like I am on Cloud 9 with this thing outside of the one off situations.  Even though taking it out was on my mind, I really don't want to unless absolutely necessary.
2. He was more concerned about my ovaries and rightfully so.  I had my first ultrasound today and boy was that creepy.  My left ovary, not so bad.  It had several little cysts on it, but nothing "of great concern" according to the Doctor.  The right one, however, is twice the size it should be.  Fabulous.  I thought I was always an overachiever... =/  That sucker had more cysts than he expected apparently.  Ima need Dr. Duncan to work on his poker face!  
3. I have a condition called Polycystic Ovaries, which apparently I've had my whole life.
4. The overall concern with this condition is that it will cause me to have great difficulties to have children, if I can at all.
5. The older I get the harder it will be for me to have kids, so my window closes, literally at 30/32.  

You know my greatest concern is, "how do I tell Devon?"  Knowing how much he wants children and that I may not be the best candidate for producing little Wiles, I just found it amazing that was my first reaction.  But I set it in my mind, "I'm not going to jump and have kids because this doctor says, once again, that me having kids will be really difficult, if not completely impossible.  I'm still going to wait and plan like I originally wanted to.  I just know that my window is shorter and that realistically, I can't wait until I'm 35.  I got it, but I have to stay mindful that I can't rush it either.

I guess now I'm staying prayerful and faithful that God's Will is still the last word and that his plan is perfect and absolute and that if it is in his will for me to reproduce, than I will.  Right now, outside of the pain that I'm in, I think I'm still in shock.  That sonogram was a freaky thing to see I tell you.  Asking God to give me a stable mindset so that I can go into work tomorrow and still kick things out accordingly.  So keep me in your prayers.