I wear your dog tags when you're gone.

I notice today that people stare and wonder why this sickly looking woman is wearing this dog tag.  But then again, maybe they don't ask, maybe they just know.

When I was on the flight back from Germany, I became violently sick.  I threw up several times.  It was probably brought on by the crying I was doing.  It was overnight and I tried not to bother any of the other passengers.  Suffer in silent is the type of person I am.  

But the lady next to me, she asked, "are you crying over the person who's tag you hold in your hand?  Is he serving in the war?"  She knew how my heart breaks then as Layci knew today at brunch.  "Jazz, you don't look well."

I don't know what is wrong with me.  Is it because I can't hear your voice?  Or because I know you're not walking through the door before I leave?  Its not like I don't know you're on your way home... So what is wrong with me?  

I can't seem to make any decisions without running them by you.  Its not like life won't go on if you don't know every moment of what I do.  I do so much on a daily basis.  So why am I so solemn without you?